I have experienced Parental Alienation since June 2016. The events that led me to where I am now have shaken me to the very depths of my soul and made me far more cynical. That’s why I am supporting Cornerstone Alliance in its mission for total reform of the family justice system.
I entered into a temporary liaison with my first son’s mother in 2005. Her background was chequered and damaged but since she seemed personable and caring I thought I would give the relationship a chance. I knew she didn’t have the best start in her own life and didn’t have the support that was required to fulfil her potential.
When our son was born in June 2006 I was hopeful for the future. But I could already see that she struggled with the weight of the responsibility of having children. So, I took our son into my personal care where I would have him three days a week and my mother and sister would have him two days a week. This arrangement lasted until he was 3 years old.
We had a tumultuous relationship and I decided to leave her in 2007, at the time both informally deciding on shared care. I would have my son weekends and at half-terms. She eventually complained that I was having him too much. I suspected then that she only wanted to do so for financial reward, as she was upset I had moved on with my current partner of 11 years.
‘I hope you are not playing happy families with my son,’ she would say.
She exhibited jealous behaviour on regular occasions, upset by the fact that our son got on so well with my current partner. Sometimes he even appeared to favour her over me. As the years went by, my son’s mother repeatedly reneged on our arrangements over shared care, and demanded more and more maintenance for him. Then I noticed our son would stop running to me when I came to pick him up. He would then secretly complain that I would make him do too much work, and that my home was boring. Yet whilst he was with me he would say that his mother wished he was a girl, insulted him about his weight gain, and mocked his reading difficulties. At first, I thought he was just pleased whichever parent he was with, but he started to cry about being left in the room on his own at my property and became scared of the dark. Then he had several outbursts saying he hated his life and that I didn’t really love him or want him.
In August 2016 I was diagnosed with a brain tumour, and then found out I had blood clots on the lungs three weeks after I collapsed at home.
I became increasingly concerned about my son’s mental health and sought out counselling. His mother had been showing him messages of the two of us arguing. I assumed responsibility for his education and homework completion in order to try and get him extra help. One of the teachers showed me his special needs reports saying the mother believed that because of my brain tumour I was controlling our son and trying to take him away from her. On a visit a few months later my son told me he had contact with a convicted child molester that was the former partner of his Auntie. In all this time his mother was feeding lies to my sister and mother that this was not true. I recorded my son and reported it to Social Services.
My parents took him abroad without my knowledge or consent while I was in hospital having my tumour removed. They took him to Europe during the La Ramblas terrorist attacks. From that moment I stopped visiting my parents and siblings; a situation she tried to use to turn my family against me. My mother on the Social Service Section 7 report said that my son was fine living with his mother, and that she was doing her best.
I then realised that my own mother was trying to curry favour with my son’s mother, a woman who had told me 6 years earlier my mother was black, ugly and threatened to knock out my sister’s teeth because she criticized her mothering skills. Yet they had supported my son’s mother in covering up the fact that she had exposed my son, on more than one occasion, to a convicted child molester.
Due to the incompetence of the child services, their refusal to acknowledge the evidence I’d provided of my son’s mother’s negligence, and my safeguarding concerns, my son’s mother retained residency. And that was despite the fact that I exposed the lies of child services about my son’s mother with documented proof and witness statements. So, I applied for a residency order in the Family Court for an impartial judgement, based on the duty of care. But the lay justices backed up the Child Service recommendations.
I was given only five hours of contact on a Saturday.
This is all due to the corrupt process. I have now appealed this decision and have spent yet more money to have a Circuit Judge see the case on the facts and historical evidence.
It has been an incredibly traumatic time where I veered from the depths of despair to a murderous rage. I have wanted to strike out against all those who have opposed me. The only thing that has prevented me from doing so is the love for my children and my current partner, who I have now proposed to.
The purpose of this recording is to share my experiences and connect with others who have experienced parental alienation so we can unite to bring about total reform. Government institutions and departments, and society as a whole rewards alienators financially through benefits and full custody, even when the resident parent is unfit and negligent.
This is my story.